There lived a certain man in Wario Land
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Wario Land chicks he was a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstacy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

WAH WAH WALUIGI
Lover of the Mushroom queen
There was a cat that really was gone
WAH WAH WALUIGI
Peach's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled Wario land and never mind Bowser
But the koopachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the seeds he'd sowed
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her Toad

WAH WAH WALUIGI
Lover of the Mushroom queen
There was a cat that really was gone
WAH WAH WALUIGI
Peach's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

[Spoken:]
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
for power became known to more and more people,
the demands to do something about this outrageous
man became louder and louder.

"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Waluigi had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came

WAH WAH WALUIGI
Lover of the Mushroom queen
They put some poison into his wine
WAH WAH WALUIGI
Peach's greatest love machine
He drank it all and he said "I feel fine"

WAH WAH WALUIGI
Lover of the Mushroom queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
WAH WAH WALUIGI
Peach's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead

[Spoken:] Oh, Waluigi...