"Gin and Vodka, as requested". They said, holding out the Gordon's and Russian Standard bottles to me. I started, about to ask if they remembered ice.
"And ice", they added, seeing my expression.
Movie night was off to a good start. We were to watch Kung Pow, which we'd both seen many times independently but never together. It was a backdrop, and we both knew it. I was unsure of their intentions and limits, but I know they knew mine. I'd been an excitable horny fucker for the week prior to this engagenement. They went ahead with the visit, knowing this.
It wasn't long before I laid my right hand on their left tit, while we both quoted lines from the movie. Neither of us recited the next few lines, but nor did we stir. A few minutes later, my hand still in place, I exclaimed "I need gopher chucks!", and we both laughed as the protagonist used two groundhogs and a strip of his shirt as nunchaku to defeat his enemies. I felt their boob move beneath my hand as they laughed. My semi-turgid cock swelled.
"Do you want to fuck?" I asked.
Looking ahead at the movie, they said "no. We can do other stuff, though". And I don't like people playing with my tits.
Disappointed, I removed my hand.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," I said, looking up at them.
"I know. Just please don't do it. We can do other stuff."
"Like what?" I asked.
They shifted a little and took off their pants. Their panties were a pale lavender colour, and they looked very dry. I was disappointed by the lack of an exceedingly wet patch - I was confident in my abilities as a sexual partner, and I was certain I could make an asexual-aromatic wet. I was wrong, obviously.
"You can go down on me if you want", they said, "and I can go down on you. Then we'll see".
I was surprised, I didn't think an asexual would want oral sex. I guess they read my expression a little more than I anticipated, because they clarified almost immediately.
"I don't really get sexual pleasure from it, but it feels nice. Objectively, it feels nice. And I trust you. You have my consent. I know you want to, as well, and that makes me feel good," they said, but I was already kissing down their stomach before they finished. They pushed me all the way down.
"Don't get romantic. I don't like that, either, just eat me out and enjoy yourself, I like it when I know you're getting harder" they said. I think I did okay, but I'm pretty sure they didn't cum. I didn't ask, either. Maybe I should have. I looked up expectantly from between their thighs, and they laughed.
"What?" I asked, embarrassed. "Did I fuck up?"
They reached down and yanked a pube out of my teeth. I laughed, too.
I sat up against the headboard and my cock started to wilt. Somewhat annoyed, they just asked me to trust them. "I know what I like", they said, "and sometimes sex is good anyway". I still felt like I'd done something wrong, as if I'd broken a fundamental aspect of their being. I said as much.
"You're not that good," they said. I was no longer even a little bit hard.
"Oh, grow up," they said. "You're not God's gift to anyone, everyone's average, and sex is just something people sometimes do to feel nice. There's no right or wrong and it's frankly pathetic that I have to teach you this. You're a fucking adult."
I stared at them, dumbfounded. They were what I would consider a woman, their bottom half totally exposed, their pubes a total forest, and I’d just gone down on them despite that. What the fuck? I was confident, I knew I could be better than this.
“Alright,” I said with whatever confidence I could muster. “If I’m that bad, teach me”. My cock bloated slightly with anticipation, but for all intents and purposes remained utterly useless. I waited.
Their hand went down to my cock and squeezed it. That felt good.
“See how I’m in control of you right now?” They asked.
“Uh, heheh, yes,” I said.
“Well, sex is usually a matter of control for guys. It’s one person pounding into another. That’s not how it works for me, or for most other people you’ve ever had sex with, I’d imagine”. Their grip tightened.
“Ooh!” I gasped, “What do you mean?” I caught a slight eye-roll as I closed my eyes in a mixture of pleasure and discomfort.
“Sex is just a thing people do. Because it feels nice. To the people who like it, at least. It can be USED for power, but that’s not its purpose. Sex is just a thing people do when they want to enjoy one another’s company, that’s all there is to it. Is it really that hard for people like you to understand?” They said sincerely, without relaxing their grip. This didn’t matter, because it had begun to sink in and I stopped being horny again.
The bulk of my cock slipped out of their grip, and they were left holding my foreskin like the handles of a plastic bag full of skinned peaches. I looked into their face sincerely, and I said “I think I get it.”
I gestured wordlessly to go down on them again, and they wordlessly consented. This time, I’m pretty sure they came. Afterward, in return, they gave my hard cock a swirl around their tongue and I definitely came. They swallowed.
It made me feel nice.