The doorbell rang, which was strange because lizards don't tend to have doors or doorbells. The lizard shuffled toward the entranced of its small sandpit to see who was calling at its house. Outside stood a tall fellow with long, curly hair, its blondity shimmering in the moonlight. In his hand, he held a pizza box.
"I have a pizza for you," said Josh, the pizza delivery man. The lizard did not speak, because lizards do not speak. The lizard in question was a monitor lizard, famous for being big and having really deadly bacteria, and some venom that makes wounds fester, in their mouths.
"You have to pay for the pizza, lizard, or I will enter your premises and mess up your furniture." Josh continued, heart racing. Josh was getting excited at the prospect of entering the lizard's personal space.
The lizard did not respond or understand what was happening, because it was a lizard. I'm not even sure if the lizard was male or female, it was just a standard lizard. It didn't even have any belongings, so that wouldn't have been much a threat had the lizard been capable of understanding Josh at all.
"Okay, mister lizard," Josh said, guessing at the reptile's gender, "you leave me no choice. I am coming... inside." Josh said and he danubed into the lizard's space.
"Now I am inside" Josh stated, and began to undress. The lizard stared blankly at the man, unable to comprehend his intentions.
"Prepare to give payment for this pizza," Josh said, throwing the box to the ground. A breeze blew the box open, revealing it to be empty. Josh was not here to deliver pizza at all; he was here to deliver a small amount of protein-based fluid into the lizard's body.
"Tonight you will get fucked by a Merchant," said Josh, picking the large monitor lizard up and examining its pale underside, scanning for the target location about two thirds of the way down its body. Josh placed his mouth over the lizard's cloaca and began sucking. The lizard stired and writhed uncontrollably - in terror, because there was a man beginning to slide his tongue into its vent.
The lizard began shreiking with a strange sort of throaty hissing sound reminiscent of a bird, but as if said bird had run out of throat lozenges mid-winter. Josh began to masturbate and forced the lizard's mouth open so that he may empty himself of seminal fluid into the lizard's oral tract.
"Calm, my beautiful lady, stay calm," Josh whispered. "I require concentration for this feat," but the lizard did not understand and continued twisting its body in order to escape the clutches of Joshua Merchant, serial lizard rapist.
After several minutes of fist pumping, Josh reached his climax and ejaculated inside the lizard's mouthal organ. The lizard did not understand what was happening, and continued writhing. To clean up, Josh wiped his soggy man meat onto the lizard's vent and imagined the unlikely event that its eggs hatched with small Merchant-headed reptilian offspring, somewhat reminiscent of Benedict Cumberbatch.
During this daydream, the lizard managed to right itself and escape into the wilderness; leaving Joshua alone in the desert with his penis hanging out, covered in sand.